How to Find Yourself Even When You Feel Lost

How to Find Yourself

10 Ways To Find Yourself Again

How do you find yourself when you feel lost? It’s so easy to get caught up with the noise and the chaos until you can hear everyone else’s thoughts but your own. You discover that you’re so busy being who you think you should be that you’ve forgotten who you are. But you’re not lost, even though you may feel you are. Check out this list of 10 things to do to find yourself again.

1. Accept Where You Are Right Now

Accept your current discomfort. It sounds like a strange thing to say but bear with me. Feeling lost is like waking up suddenly from a vivid dream. Your life now is different from what it was before. Your old life, your habits, routines, and interests have changed. Perhaps you’ve lost someone or something. You may have gone through a long, difficult period or a sudden, unexpected trauma. Who you were, and who you are now, are no longer the same person. Your perspective has changed. You have changed.

When you feel lost, it generally means you’ve woken up. Most people walk through their lives in almost a state of sleepwalking, repeating the same unconscious patterns they have followed for years. But sometimes you wake up and suddenly become aware of where you are. The past no longer fits and the future may seem blank or empty.

While it may be uncomfortable, it’s actually a gift, the gift of awareness. You can’t go back. None of us can. You’ve outgrown who you were. But now, you’re awake and aware and able, for perhaps the first time in a long time, to actively choose and decide on your own future.

marston quote finding yourself

2. Take Time For Yourself In Order To Find Yourself

Everyone needs some alone time, a chance to relax and focus solely on themselves. Solitude allows you to detach from other people’s needs, opinions and expectations and give yourself time to just be yourself. It creates a space to breathe and relax. Instead of being distracted by the outside world, you allow yourself to reconnect with your own inner world.

Use this time to think about your life, where it is now and the life you would like to create for the future. Think of it as having a loving conversation with an old friend. Take this time seriously. Treat yourself with kindness and respect. Turn off the distractions, ask yourself the questions and listen patiently for the answers.

3. Get Familiar With Your Thoughts

Your unconscious thoughts and beliefs create the way you respond and interact in the world around you.  If you can change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and live. The problem is most thoughts are unconscious, or simply old, ingrained habits of thinking and feeling. If you’ve ever tried to break a bad habit, you know how difficult it can be. One moment you’ve decided to change only to find yourself, sometimes within moments, repeating the same old habit without even realizing it.  

So, how do you turn this around? Try meditation. Meditation helps you to notice your thoughts, but separate yourself from them at the same time. You learn to become the observer of your thoughts. From this perspective, it’s easier to recognize negative or old thoughts and beliefs. Once you can identify them, it’s much easier to release the ones that no longer serve you and make space for a new, more empowering mindset.

szasz quote find yourself

4. Embrace Positive Change

In the words of Courtney C. Stevens, “If nothing changes, nothing changes.” Sometimes feeling lost is the result of being stuck in a pattern that you’ve long since outgrown. What may seem comfortable at first can slowly become stifling over time.

Making even small positive changes can help. Practice self-care. Improve your diet. Do something different. Find one thing in your life that you would like to change and change it. It may not be easy. In fact, expect that it may be difficult at first. That’s how you know its working. Commit to it. Allow yourself to change. Keep doing it until it becomes your new normal. Then choose something else.

5. What Makes You Come Alive?

When do you feel most alive? What excites you? What makes you feel happy, alive and full of joy? Are there topics you can talk about for hours? What activities are so absorbing that you lose all track of time doing them? What are you passionate about?

Write them down. Make a list of as many things you can think of. They can be old interests, new interests or even yet to be explored interests. Write down everything you can think of. Then, beside each one, write down how long it’s been since you’ve done it. You may be surprised at what you discover.

It’s all too easy to get distracted with our busy daily lives and forget to make time for the things that make life worth living. You’re allowed to enjoy your life, too. Add them back in. If you need to, schedule them on your calendar. Make room each day to do something that excites you and makes you come alive.

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steve jobs quote

6. Embrace Your Own Personal Power

When you feel lost, it’s easy to forget just how much power you truly have. While some things are out of your control, your choices, decisions, and actions are still yours.

Take responsibility for your life. Look at the little choices, the things that you put off and try to avoid. Pick them up, dust them off, and put them to rights.

Not only does it get rid of the nagging unfinished tasks that drain your energy, but it also helps you to build your sense of self-confidence and self-reliance. It’s a way to demonstrate to yourself that you can take care of yourself and the important tasks in your surroundings.

7. Get Organized

Now is a good time to clear out the clutter. Finding yourself is not only about moving forward, but it’s also about letting go of the past and the old parts of you that you’ve outgrown.

Clean out your closet. Clean out the attic or garage. Open up all the boxes that you haven’t opened since you moved several years ago and decide what to keep and what to let go of.

If it has bad memories or makes you feel bad, let it go. If you love it and it makes you feel good, keep it. And finally, if you’re undecided, put it back in the box, date the box and look at it again a year from now. By clearing out the old, you make room for something new.

campbell quote finding yourself

8. Embrace Your Strengths and Your Weaknesses

It’s okay to be different. Your differences are what make you unique and provide the tools you need to accomplish your purpose in this world in a way that only you can provide. You are the only person with your own unique set of strengths and weaknesses and the unique perspective you’ve gained from them.

Get to know your own personal strengths and weaknesses, but build on your strengths. Whatever you focus on, takes up your time, attention and energy. By following your strengths, you learn to stretch yourself and grow. By accepting your weaknesses, you learn to accept others, too.

9. Ask Yourself Questions and Listen To Your Answers

One of the best ways to find yourself is to communicate with yourself. Keep a daily diary or journal. If you don’t like to write things down, consider a video diary. But instead of just writing down random thoughts, instead, ask yourself questions and then answer them.

Just choose your questions carefully. It helps to frame your questions to bring about a positive, desired outcome. Instead of asking, “Why can’t I figure this out?” try asking “What’s a good solution to this issue?” “What other options can I try?” “What can I do that will give me the result that I want?” Write, or speak, the question, and then answer it.

The more you practice this, the easier it gets. You already know far more than you give yourself credit for. This simply gives you an exercise to help focus your thoughts on your desired answer.

dean quote

10. Open Yourself to New Experiences

Over time, interests change. We outgrow some things and grow tired of others. Remember back in your early school days? Every year was a new adventure with new people to meet, new things to learn and new worlds opening up around you.

Unfortunately, as adults, we seem to get stuck in the same old routines where years blend into each other in a blur. Bring back the excitement of a new adventure. Try something new and different. Explore new things and places. Experiment with a new hobby. Make a new friend. Take a class. Study a subject you’re not familiar with.

Give it a try. Experience the whole thing, the discomfort, the resistance, the excitement, the enjoyment. It may be fun or it may be something you never want to do again.

Even if it turns out to be a dud, consider what first interested you about it. Maybe explore that in another way. Was there something else about it that you enjoyed? Perhaps something that surprised you? Or were you hoping for something and disappointed to find it wasn’t there? These are all clues that point you in the direction of creating a new life you will truly love. And every step, and every new experience, changes you and your perception of yourself and the world around you. And every step takes you further on your journey of finding yourself once again.

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